:: STANDARDS BY WHICH ONE SHOULD LIVE BY ::

• IF YOU OPEN IT.. CLOSE IT..
• IF YOU'RE HUNGRY.. EAT.. DON'T WHINE ABOUT IT AND EAT!!
• IF YOU'RE PISSED.. WHO CARES!!..
• IF YOUR NOT INTERESTED.. THEN LEAVE IT ALONE.. DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DO..
• IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO SOMETHING.. DON'T DO IT..
• IF YOU BORROW IT.. RETURN IT..
• IF YOU HAVE NO MONEY.. YOU'RE MOST LIKELY TO BE BROKE AND HAVE NO LIFE FOR THE WEEKEND..
• IF YOU NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.. GO AND DO SO.. AND DON'T WARN EVERYONE ABOUT IT...
• IF YOU TELL SOMEONE OFF.. BE HONEST WHILE DOING SO.. AND GET EVERYTHING OUT..
• IF YOU'RE SICK.. GET MEDICINE.. AND STOP WALKING AROUND...
• IF YOUR HEAD HURTS.. TOO BAD!!..
• IF YOU NEED IT.. BUY IT..
• IF YOU USE IT.. CLEAN IT..
• IF YOU WANT IT.. GET IT..
• IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT.. MAKE IT..
• IF YOU MAKE A MESS.. CLEAN IT UP..
• IF YOU TURN IT ON.. TURN IT OFF..
• IF YOU BREAK IT.. FIX IT..
• IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT.. THAN YOUR USELESS MAN!!
• IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE IT.. LEAVE IT ALONE.. YOU DUMB ASS..
• IF IT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU.. DON'T MESS WITH IT..
• IF THE DAMN PHONE RINGS.. GET IT.. [I WON'T ALWAYS BE THERE YOU KNOW!!]
• IF THERE'S MUSIC.. DANCE.. ALWAYS DANCE.. IF NOT WHY IS IT ON?..
• IF IT'S THERE.. DO IT.. YOU CAN'T WASTE IT YOU KNOW..
• IF YOU FEEL TO WARM UP A BIT.. MAKE IT SNOW.. [IT'S NEEDED ONCE IN A WHILE]
• IF YOU MOVE IT.. PUT BACK YOU RETARD.. DON'T JUST LEAVE IT THERE..
• IF IT BELONGS TO SOME ELSE.. GET PERMISSION!!
• IF YOU'RE FUCKED UP.. DON'T EVER USE THE PHONE EVER!! OR WALK, TALK, OR ANYTHING AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER..
• WHEN YOU FEEL THE BUZZ.. LIGHT ANOTHER ONE..
• IF IT'S THE LAST CIGG IN THE BOX.. GET A NEW ONE BEFORE YOU SMOKE THE DAMN THING!!
• IF YOU FEEL LONESOME.. DRINK UP..
• IF YOU UNLOCK IT.. LOCK IT..
• IF YOU FUCK IT.. CALL IT..
• IF YOU'RE HOOKED.. GOT TO REHAB..
• IF YOU WANT IT DONE RIGHT.. DO IT YOURSELF.. OR GIVE THE DUMB ASS DIRECTIONS!!
• IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DONE TO YOU.. DON'T DO IT TO OTHERS.. THAT'S BAD YOU KNOW!!
• IF YOU DO DRUGS.. CONTROL YOURSELF.. DON'T BE A DUMBASS AND DO IT ALL AT ONCE.. THAT'S HOW THEY YOU CAUGHT AND PROBABLY END UP KILLING YOURSLEF!!.. STUPID!!..
• IF YOU NEED TO FEED YOUR BRAIN.. LEARN SOMETHING..
  
• DON'T SMOKE YOUR WAY UP.. RELAX AND SMOKE IT DOWN..
• IF YOU'RE TIRED.. SLEEP..
• IF YOU SLEEP.. AND HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. .WAKE UP.. DON'T JUST LAY THERE..
• IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH STRESS FIND SOMEWAY TO UNLOAD..
• IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE.. TELL THEM..
• IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING.. LET IT OUT.. DON'T JUST CLOSE IT IN THERE..
• IF YOU NEED SOME.. GET IT.. IT'S ALWAYS THERE..
• IF YOU'RE ALREADY LATE.. TAKE YOUR TIME.. WHAT'S THE POINT IN KILLING YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY LATE!!...
• IF YOU HAVE TO GO.. DO SO.. JUST LIKE I AM NOW...

[INNER THOUGHT:: IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST LISTEN AND LIVE PEACEFULLY AND FOLLOW AT LEAST A COUPLE OF MY STANDARDS. THIS WORLD WOULD BE SUCH A BETTER PLACE]

:: SIGHS DEEPLY :: SHAKES HEAD ::

WHY.. WHY DON'T THEY EVER LISTEN.. WHY.. IT'S A SHAME.. [SIGHS AGAIN]