WHY FINGERS ARE BETTER =)

~You don't have to smile at them afterwards

~You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them

~They don't get tired before you do...

~You always know where your fingers have been

~For variety, you have ten to choose from

~They are also useful *out* of bed

~You can stop if you want to

~Your fingers don't want to meet your family

~Your fingers don't get jealous

~Your fingers don't smell

~Your fingers won't just fall asleep afterwards

~Your fingers don't want you to meet *their* family

~You don't get jealous of your other fingers

~Your fingers don't mind if you fall asleep afterwards

~Your fingers won't let you down

~Your mother won't critisize your fingers

~You can't get pregnant from your fingers

~Your fingers don't need batteries

~Fingers don't need adaptors to covert into the right size

~They don't shrink afterwards

~You always have them with you

~You can chew on them when you are nervous

~You can use more than 1 at a time

~They are agile

~They'll never leave you

~They are multiuse

~They want to when you want to

~They don't take up half the bed at night

~They are easy to clean

~If the ones you are using get tired, you can switch to some of the others

~They don't demand acrobatics in bed

~They don't want to try out stuff they heard from friends

~You can use them to try out stuff *you* heard from friends without worrying about it going horribly wrong

~They don't look worried when *you* want acrobatics in bed

~Your fingers don't give you bite-marks (Addition: unless you *like* bite-marks)

~You can share them with a friend

~Fingers don't cheat on you

~Fingers don't have hidden wifes/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends/children

~Your fingers don't yelp when you give them bite marks

~For variety you can paint them any colour you want?

~Since they come on 2 hands, you can use them on 2 places at the same time

~You can use them for netsex when company is required

~They're compatible with a wide range of leather goods and electrical appliances

~No one ever fell in love with their fingers

~They'll change the video channel for you

~They won't ask: Am I the first?

~They won't be disgusted when you have your period

~They don't snore, fart, burp or have smelly breath

~They don't want you to swallow

~They don't care if your hair is a mess

~You don't have to tell them how you'd like it

~They don't brag how great they are

~They don't cost you time, money or patience

~Afterwards, they won't ask: 'Did you come?' (they just know)

~They don't leave you to sleep in the wet spot

~They're useful for scooping up nutella, chocolate, lube (take your pick) and smearing it in the appropriate places...

~Fingers don't ask who you are fantasizing about

~They don't have STDs

~Fingers are more sensitive to what you are feeling

~You don't have to bring them to room temperature

~They come in varing sizes - thumb to pinkie, or any combination thereof, it's up to you

~There're extremely gentlemanly - they'll open doors for you, pull your chair out, and even cook you dinner!

~They won't finish just before you reach orgasm

~You don't have to worry wether or not they wont come back after a goodnight