BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

~Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
~A 5-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
~You can open all your own jars.
~You get laid more often with less work.. and not judged..and what u want most the time..
~Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind... and take less time..


~You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
~You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
~You can leave the motel bed unmade... and ur own as well..
~You can kill your own food... or try..

~You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
~If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
~If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
~Everything on your face stays its original color.
~You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
~3 pairs of shoes are more than enough.
~You don't have to clean your apartment that often.. and if u have unexpected visitors and its a mess..its ok..
~Car mechanics tell you the truth.
~You can manage to screw up.. and still get away with it..


~You can quietly watch a game with your buddies for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me."
~Same work, same pay.
~Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
~You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
~If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you justmight become lifelong friends..


~Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different."
~You are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.
~You don't have to waste so much time getting ready..

~You almost never have strap problems in public.
~You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
~The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades... and you still look good..

~You don't have to shave below your neck... well u do.. just not as much as women.. (please do shave..)
~At least a few belches are expected or tolerated.
~One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
~You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
~Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on Dec. 24th..in 45 minutes.
~The probablilities of gettin laid are higher and easier..
~You get entertained easier..
~Gossip is not a choice for u..
~You can put anything on and manage to look ok.. and not be frown upon..