:: THE USUAL ::

Same as always.. back to the usual..
I wonder now that I've changed.. would things be different..
I have replaced the old.. made a new mold.. and sorted out my me..
but somehow.. I feel flawed.. I'm confused.. lost.. wavered..
I don't know where to start.. how to begin..

:: @ HOME ::

hmm.. something strange but great happened to me last night.. for the first time in many days it actually rained y se fue la luz at the same time.. it was so weird.. the mosquitoes were everywhere... I was hot as hell [cause the damn inversor had to be turned off cause of all the hours que no habia luz].. and I loved it.. de verdad... I got all nostalgic and shit.. it reminded me of all those great warming memories of my past.. of my childhood.. of when I used to live in NY.. of everything.. as I laid there in the dark... looking out the window.. a slide show of my whole life appeared before my eyes.. everything I've done.. how I've changed.. everything.. and it felt good.. sad but good.. it was so weird.. hacia mucho tiempo que no me ponia asi... all nostalgic and shit and being a happy about it.. it brought back this homely feeling I used to get back in the states.. like I belonged.. like I was actually home.. I loved it

Thinking about it I have changed a lot ever since I moved to this country... wow.. I mean I have transformed.. so many things have happened to me here.. so many people impacted my life.. I have changed in such a way that it's incredible.. I have grown.. learned.. and made a new me in a place where I never really felt like home.. like I belonged.. it's so strange.. but I loved it.. I mean I don't regret anything.. it just couldn't have been better.. I love this place.. and the really awkward thing is that I really didn't feel like I was home til last night.. when I got that nostalgic homely feeling.. hehe.. I just simply loved it.. for once I feel at one again.. at home.. like I belong..

:: DISCHARGE ::

shouted out.. burried underneath your clothes.. u mark me all over.. make me explode.. u leave me out of breathe.. gasping for more.. in desperation.. in need.. ur a sex drug.. an addiction.. an emotional crack.. I'm tearing beneath u.. breaking apart.. I'm falling into pieces.. squeezing the little of me that there's left.. all the drops fall at ur feet.. and all u do is laugh and pick up the mess..u do nothing to complete me.. to secure back my bits.. u eat me completely...u've injected u into me.. ur fluid crawls beneath me.. it tears apart my skin.. u savagely bite me.. unwantly make me bleed.. u thrive all my insides.. make me wanna flee.. u change me.. fill me.. I'm at stake.. I'm glued.. I'm wicked.. I want to completely vanish this..

now I ask one thing.. if I did.. try.. and succeed.. would u come to me.. and try to save ur crown.. and flip it all over.. would u let me be.. set me free.. or leave me on the ground.. pleading at ur knees.. for one last kiss.. one last please.. one last round.. or would u satisfy me.. serve me.. and let me vanish all of it.. and start off on a clean sheet.. and let me be me again.. discharge.. and free karma off my knees... and wonder upon my whereabouts..