::our existence and inner peace::

Ever since I was a little girl I've been brought up to believe in the existence of God, the bible, Jesus, the whole package. But now that I am older I have developed my own sense of beliefs in things and I have put aside everything that I've been brought up into believing. I have created my own criteria of things, especially upon everything that abroads on religious beliefs.

I do believe that there is something out there. Some greater power, being. I'm not sure what it is, but I do believe that there is something out there beyond recognition that holds us together, but better yet, I believe it within us. That we have that within ourselves. The whole religious creation of Adam and Eve.. the bible.. it's do's and don'ts and all of that.. it just doesn't make sense to me.. it doesn't quite fit my criteria of things. If you stop and think a bit you would notice that there isn't actual proof that jesus did exist, we only know he did because of the supposenly divine writings of the bible and its witnesses. The bible to me is a book created by religious creators, in which they state their criteria of things.. of what's right and wrong.. upon how they think one should live and keep order.

If you stop and think you will notice that every religion no matter how similar they are they all claim that their "holy book" is sacred and original. Like the catholic church for example, they have added like five chapters already and modified the bible to their convinience. I think that if something is supposenly as aunthetique and blessed as the bible then there shouldn't be so many versions of it.. and talking about the bible, if it is so sacred to them than why do they disrespect it and not follow it properly. For example, the beliefs of saints and symbols of some religions, in the bible, if I recall properly, it clearly states that there shouldn't be any beliefs of such kind and that's the first thing they do, especially the catholic church.

Also I have noticed that some religions post out rules created by them of how one should dress, act and believe.. and they post that by following these certain codes you are acting like a rightious human being... acting upon god's will.. and most certainly you are judged if you do not act upon these codes and seen as a sinner. You are seen before god, as wrong and judged for that certain inadequate action, if you do not act among them. They state how you are judged as evil before the eyes of god and so on if you do not follow their rules and disrepect the readings of the church or their "community" you will be doomed.. an so on.

I think that if there is a god he shouldn't judge you at all, cause supposenly judging is a sin and if he created us he created us with the purpose of being free, not chained and withdrawed from exposing our true emotions and selves. If not what is the purpose of him creating us in the first place?.. to control us?.. that just doesn't sound right to me. We are suppose to be free.. to be responsible and our own judgers of our actions. To be our true selves and be happy. No one who is under control of their true emotions and desires could truly be happy... and I don't think god himself would want that. I dont think that he would like the fact of us being miserable so he could supposenly "save" us. To me that's just unfair. Selfish. In fact the whole idea of the "saving" issue to be is just a lame excuse for humans to not fear death itself. I think that we live and then die and that's the end of our existence. Maybe our spirits will float around a bit or something.. maybe reincarnate or something like that.. but nothing like that whole bible rubish stuff they got going on. We just become one with nature and thats it. What truly matters is what we do upon living.. on earth.. not after.. We pay and get awarded through life not before nor after.. if not.. during it.

I just think that there is something out there that created us.. but created us to be free.. to be ourselves.. to act upon will power. Free from judgement of right and wrong.. and thinking about that to me that (right and wrong) is all relative. We are suppose to live upon feelings.. emotions.. desires.. interacting with others and nature itself. That is why when I die, I want my ashes floated into the ocean so I can float upon the freedom of the sea forever. But if I had to choose upon a belief of our existence I would most definite rely on the scientific matters. They are more substancial.. more reliable.. more stern. One should always live and believe what holds u together.. cause without any spiritual peace of some kind, let it be an emotion like love itself and its wonders.. or a religion of some type.. or anything that gives u some type of inner peace.. without it.. u are most certainly left empty.